We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
