who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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