I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
