Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize