hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
