OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
