no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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