im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
