I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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