I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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