I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
