So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize