ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
