That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
