weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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