well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So squirting runs in the family.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
