Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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