why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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