He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
