Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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