I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think I just sharted jello shots
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
