so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
