well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
