that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize