Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
