Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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