I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
