Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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