now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
