Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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