You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
