the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
