Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
