just come out here and I will go home with you...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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