Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
