I just threw up on my dentist
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
