This girl is more easily done than said...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize