she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
