Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
