listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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