its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
