I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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