Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize