why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
