You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
