Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
