nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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