i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
