(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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