she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I understand Curling. That high.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
