K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
