you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
