You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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