Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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