brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize