i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
