bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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