I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
