I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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