From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
