do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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