You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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