Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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