dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
