OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
