Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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