I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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