Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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