You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
